Forgiveness 101

Can you relate at all to this young woman...

"I [recently] realized that I struggle with anger and bitterness. Not just from [a recent relationship failure], but also because of the rape that I went through 2 years ago. I still have not forgiven that man and it's affecting my trust of other men around me...

I don't know how to begin forgiving the rapist, and have even less of an understanding of how to forgive [the first guy I trusted since then, who just shattered my trust in a different way all over again]...

I thought I was ready to just be done with the pain and anger, but I've begun to realize that I'm far from it. I want to be done with the panic attacks and the nightmares that I have over and over again. I want to be able to trust again...

I know I need to turn to Jesus and have struggled with my church commitments and personal devotions for a long time. I don't know if it's me blaming God or something different, but I know I want to get past this. I want the emotions that I struggle with to settle down from the waves in the ocean to the ripples in pond...

Where do I turn to get the help I need? I know it's God somehow, but how? I want to be able to strengthen and grow in my relationship with [God]. The guy who did it all was a very close friend and like a brother to me while growing up. I don't plan on interacting with him at all in the future but I need to forgive him still."

It was this letter (and others stories shared with Julie and me) that finally convinced us to put our entire forgiveness book up online for free. You can read the intro and first chapter on

Facebook now. Click on the link or find us on Facebook and click on the "discussions" tab.