Where's My Cheering Section?

[The following is an excerpt from the upcoming FMU Success Prep Study Guide, TOP10 Marriage Tips for Smart Singles: Part 1]

Did you ever see the Starbuck’s Doubleshot Espresso “Hank” commercial. (If not,

check it out on YouTube here.) Hank partakes of Starbuck’s canned beverage and afterwards winds up with a literal cheering section everywhere he goes.

Now, what does a doubleshot of espresso really promise you? Perhaps your favorite coffee flavor? Certainly some energy?

What about a cheering section? Does anyone really expect a group of people in matching outfits outside your home in grandstands chanting your name just because you drank a Starbuck’s doubleshot? No.

But imagine if someone did. Imagine if a certain naïve individual saw that ad and really expected that. They buy the drink, they pop the top and. Nothing. They take a sip. Nothing. They finish the beverage and still hear no music, no cheers. No sound at all. Then imagine them exploding in irrepressible anger. WHERE’S MY CHEERING SECTION!?!?! I’VE BEEN RIPPED OFF!!!

See where wrong expectations leave you? Our simpleminded little friend missed out completely on the simple pleasure of the intentionally tailored taste of their beverage because they were too busy looking for something else. And, ironically, rather than making good use of the caffeine-induced energy boost, they burned off all that energy blowing their top over what they didn’t get from their drink.

Of course, that whole scenario would be absurd. Really?

I remember getting tennis shoes I was sure would make me run faster. I bought a car that would give me more respect. And I have consumed many a food item that I thought would make me feel better. Still do. Am I really alone here?

In truth, none of us consciously expects a crowd to start chanting our name just because we downed a can of coffee, but what do we subconsciously expect from that "next thing"? How many times is our discontentment the result of surreptitious, unrealistic unmet expectations?

I’ll tell you a secret. It is expectations just like this which sink many a relationship – casual, serious, marital or otherwise.

Don’t fool yourself! That next thing (whether it’s marriage or something else) will not guarantee your contentment. In fact, the expectation that it will is the very thing that will sap the pleasure you expected to get from that next thing when you finally get it. Just like our friend who consumed his canned café expecting a cheering section instead of a chilled coffee taste; and subsequently wasted all the energy it gave him raging over what it did not.

MJ