Stop Plucking Out Your Own Feathers!

[The following is an excerpt from the upcoming FMU Success Prep Study Guide, TOP10 Marriage Tips for Smart Singles: Part 1]

One of my favorite exhibits at our local zoo is the aviary where they keep the Rainbow Lorikeets. As the name would lead you to suspect, these birds display all the colors of the rainbow in their multihued plumage. They are truly beautiful birds; except for Igor. (Yes, the zookeepers have named each bird.) Igor actually has the same exact coloring as all the others; except around his neck. There, instead of his fine-looking feathers, Igor sports a ring of naked pale skin.

Mandy, the zoologist (yes, the animals have named all the zookeepers), explained that months ago, Igor came down with a sore throat. Determined to address the problem, he began to pick at his throat with his beak. Now keep in mind, these birds are constantly using their beaks to pick at their feathers. And when they’re not using their beaks for that, they’re using them to pick at the feathers of their fellow birds. In this way, they meticulously groom themselves and each other. It’s what keeps them looking so lovely; except for Igor.

In this instance Igor wasn’t trying to gently groom his neck as would be natural. He was trying to attack his throat problem. Of course, you know he was never going to fix the inside of his neck by attacking the outside, but he wasn’t able to discern the difference.

Now Mandy assured me that when they first noticed this behavior they diagnosed and treated the problem. But it was all too late. They don’t know why (perhaps his neck bothered him now because he had been picking at it), but resolute to rid himself of his esophageal discomfort (which no longer existed) he eventually ensued to denude his entire neck of its former feathery finery.

Igor lacked discernment. He identified a problem and then created more trouble for himself by trying to address it. Then even before the original problem had been solved he had already created a new problem for himself.

I’m like Igor sometimes. I feel down. I eat a dozen cookies to make me feel better. And then I feel sick to my stomach. And then I gain weight and feel even worse. Or perhaps I’m mad at someone, so I imagine a dozen different ways I could make them suffer the way they’ve made me suffer. And then, after plucking out half of my feathers, I’m so mad I wind up yelling at my 8-year-old daughter for no reason. And then I’m depressed again. So I set out on a new quest for the cookie jar. (I think my wife has hidden it. Now I’m mad again.)

How about you? Can you relate to Igor? How many times do we try and fix problems going on inside us by changing things on the outside? Of course we don’t pick at our neck feathers, but we change our hair style, buy new clothes, get a tan to make our skin darker, go to the orthodontist to make our teeth whiter and go to the ophthalmologist to make our eyes brighter. Then we get the hair on our heads to grow thicker while we permanently remove it everywhere else. Eventually, we can make our belly smaller, our chest bigger and our skin tighter.

Feel better now?

One of the most infamous of all plastic surgery exhibits, Michael Jackson, died just the week before the writing of these words. Igor and Michael – what further proof do we need that changing the outside doesn’t heal the inside?

MJ

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